My husband and I were in the honeymoon stage of marriage. We had purchased our first home and both worked to pay for it. Our master bath was not the grand bathrooms you see on HGTV. We maneuvered around each other every morning in that tiny space.

One morning I’d had it. To convince my husband to move it, I pressed the curling iron on his back. I can still hear the sizzle of skin frying, smell the burnt hair, and see my husband’s intense glare. Unfazed by my malicious act, I thought, Who is this stranger I married? And he probably thought, How did my bride turn into this malevolent creature?

Soon after the curling iron incident, I was listening to Christian radio and heard about the book, The Power of a Praying®️ Wife, by Stormie Omartian.

Boy does my husband ever need prayer and lots of them!

The book offered prayers for the uninitiated to read and insert your husband’s name. Each chapter addressed a specific topic.

I bought the book and immediately started reading it. The first chapter in the book was “His Wife.”

Pff! I’m the one going to Bible study. I’m the one praying. He’s the one who needs to change.

I skipped the first chapter and read Chapter 2 instead, “His work.” Each week I prayed on such topics as finances, sexuality, affection, temptations, his mind, his fears, etc. With each new chapter, my conscience pricked me. The “His Wife” chapter hung like a heavy banner over my thoughts.

I went through a good part of that year—all 29 chapters—never praying for my heart to soften or my attitude to change. I had focused on fixing him.

When I didn’t see the changes I wanted in my husband, I prayed through the book once more. Again, I skipped Chapter 1. But this time God stopped me in my spirit and said, “Sally, Sally! Who singed her husband’s back? Let’s work on you this time.”

The truth hurt. How convicted I was that I might be the one needing fixing.

Begrudgingly, I read “His Wife.” I said the prayers in the book: “Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially toward my husband.”

I prayed God’s word back to Him, “Help me be kind to my husband, tenderhearted, forgiving as God in Christ forgave me” (Ephesians 4:32).

Slowly, I developed a sensitivity to when I was making a callous remark, demanding my way, or pointing out his faults. God revealed my hurts, my sarcastic comments, and my prideful thoughts. Ironically, my husband’s faults diminished and mine magnified.

God was changing this curling iron weapon-wielding wife. No, I didn’t stop praying for my husband. I prayed the scriptures and prayers in that book for seven years! But now I was praying them from an unselfish heart. Not to change him the way I wanted him to act and speak but so he could become the husband and father God desired.

It’s been almost 30 years since that fateful day. Now I’m quick to forgive, more apt to extend grace, and swift to run to my prayer closet.

I can truly say I love my husband more today than I did on our wedding day. I attribute this change in heart to the prayers sown over the years—not only for him but for myself as well.

For the record, my husband forgave me for the curling iron incident but stays clear whenever a heated appliance appears.